35: “Hang on. I’m just spooning into some ramekins.”
36: “Wait a minute David, its stuck in her foot.”
37: “Did I tell you about the little pig? We were all so fond of it.”
38: “Do you remember that woman with the eyes? The one we saw at the market?”
39: “You don’t know about my sore toe yet, do you?”
40: “Don’t forget I can’t speak to you now.”
41: “The crows are on my balls. I’m not buying balls for crows!”
42: “There’s a sheep out here with only two legs worthwhile.”
Overheard on the train:
Girl 1: “My main worry is sharks”
Girl 2: “Sharks, like the fish?”
Girl 1: “For years I couldn’t shut my eyes in the shower”
Girl 2: “Was it watching Jaws at a young age?”
Girl 1: “Yes, but its more spiritual than that. Saying the word shark is really brave for me. I still can’t put my head underwater and somebody has to hold my hand when I go in the sea”
Girl 2: “I saw a dead jellyfish once, I think”.
Asked incredibly well informed neighbour (nicknamed No-Shit-Sheila) about the man upstairs who died recently. I had been told that he was a baronet. Her answer was definitive “No. If you had seen him you would agree.”
He lived in the flat all his life and his parents lived there before him. It took the removal men 12 days to empty it of furniture, rugs, wall coverings and intricately carved chairs. Some of the furniture and paintings (in huge gold frames) were taken away by a red faced man in a green tweed suit. I assume these were going to an auction. There is a huge padlock on the door now which is so old and heavy that it can’t be a recent addition. No-Shit-Shiela also told me that he would throw plastic bags full of scraps and mincemeat into the garden to attract ferral cats. The cats then began to breed in large numbers in the bike store. This, for Sheila, is not the action of a baronet but rather that of a “poor soul”. I disagree. The saddest thing about this man’s life is that he lived most of it alone, allegedly without any family or friends and yet he died following a fall at the cinema. Would a poor soul go to the cinema to watch a comedy? What is a baronet anyway?
It was curious, yet certain: he was no longer interested in himself.
— Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Noticed today that both my car and the overhead LED signs on the motorway told me “Remember to Re-fuel”. Wondering whether the next LED will say “Call you mother” or “Be nice to your neighbours”.
